Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
