Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
