Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize