I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
vagina is talking i cant
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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