Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
smell my finger.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
