I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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