Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
