i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
