just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
