Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
