Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
