I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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