you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
