its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
