@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
