one two three fourrrrnication!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
