I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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