you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
