I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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