Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Don't tell me you're on acid again
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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