they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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