I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I wish i was in the wii world.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
