I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
