walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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