your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
...so i touched it.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
