Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
