Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
