If that was your dad, he is hot
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
