Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
