TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
did you just send me my own nude
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
