just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
This house was built for laser tag.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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