Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
