i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i love accidental penises.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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