I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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