Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
