Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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