went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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