VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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