i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize