Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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