I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
