If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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