he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I touched a dick in church today
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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