You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
