How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
