I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's never too late to be topless.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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