so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
