did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
