i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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