In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize