my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
