so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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