You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
