I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize