where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
