ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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