Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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