I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize