she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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