Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
