apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
