then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
