Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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